I was feeling rather bleak and hopeless: another failure at the pro level, and this time on something I was pretty sure would go through.
Then I received an acceptance from Silver Blade for one of my poems: Servant of Winter. This was my very first villanelle, an unrhymed piece that was actually done as a boot camp exercise. I'm very pleased with it. I had a back-and-forth with another editor who wanted the imagery more vivid, but ultimately, the numbness was a crucial factor to the poem for me. I'm glad to find a venue that agrees. Also! Another poem publication. I'm a poet. No, really!
The ups and downs of the last few days have left me in a strange state. I can't quite seem to pull myself out of general malaise, and I feel strange for reacting stoically to successes that would normally have me grinning. Perhaps I'm just a pessimist at heart: the failures matter, the successes don't.