Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Guilty Pleasures

Music list the fifth: songs that I'm a little embarrassed to admit I listen to, whether because they're brainless, silly, in questionable taste, bizarre or some other reason to hang one's head ... and still groove to it.

1. The Little Voice -- Sahlene
Comments: Smutty, with a helping of shameless "na-na-na"s to top it off.
2. Get With You -- Dian Diaz
Comments: Brainless; there's really nothing to the words, but the beat is infectious.
3. It's Raining Men -- Geri Halliwell
Comments: Seriously, do I need to say anything here?
4. Can't Stop Killing You -- Kirsty MacColl
Comments: Epic levels of warped.
5. Mucho Money -- Gloria Estefan
Comments: Any song where the underlying theme is, "True love? Romantic gifts? Heck with that, give me money," deserves to be on this list. It's also got that distinctly eighties sort of beat to it.
6. Turn My Motor On -- Kirsty MacColl
Comments: This song is just cheesy, which is enhanced by the 60s girl-group orchestration. (Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it does enhance the cheddar.) All that aside, it would be on this list on the strength of this zinger alone: "Who wants your brain, your body's too much fun."
7. Once In A Lifetime -- Sarah Brightman
Comments: Those of you who know Brightman's pop songs will be familiar with their typical character - the soft, lyrical music sung with an angelic soprano. Now put this song in that setting ... the first time I actually stopped and parsed the words, my jaw dropped. I call it "The S&M song." Look them up if you don't believe me.
8. Naked -- Celine Dion
Comments: Title says it. Moving on.
9. Tic Toc -- LeAnn Rimes
Comments: Smutty.
10. X-Girlfriend -- Mariah Carey
Comments: Brainless - and it's Mariah Carey, for goodness' sakes. But it's catchy.
11. Sex In The 90s -- Gloria Estefan
Comments: I used to be sort of shy about listening to this song. Now I find it rather tame (and very funny), but it stays on the list for nostalgia's sake. It also amuses me to no end that this song is now about the past.
12. Lay Your Love On Me -- Emma Bunton
Comments: Smutty AND an ex-Spice Girl.
13. Here Comes That Man Again -- Kirsty MacColl
Comments: A very tongue-in-cheek song about cybersex, webcams, Monica Lewinsky (I think) and the EU. I couldn't make this up.
14. One By One -- Enya
Comments: I love this song - I think it's better than "Only Time," which was the runaway hit from this particular album - but really. It makes no sense. At all.
15. Fire -- Paulina Rubio
Comments: Mildly smutty and very predictable, but good for the Latin beat.
16. Darling, Let's Have Another Baby -- Kirsty MacColl
Comments: Hilariously dumb. Come on, isn't, "Darling, if you ever leave me, I'll cry a million tears. I'll go to the nearest boozer and drink ten pints of beer," the sweetest declaration of love you ever heard?
17. Strut -- Sheena Easton
Comments: On the face of it, a very suggestive song, but it's also fairly empowering in its own way - and hard to resist the rhythm (or the urge to belt out the chorus).
18. Love Toy -- Gloria Estefan
Comments: Completely mindless and silly. With vintage Miami Sound Machine accompaniment.
19. I'll Be Right Here -- Paulina Rubio
Comments: As for Fire, increased by fifty percent.
20. I Enjoy Being A Girl -- Flower Drum Song soundtrack
Comments: You could not get away with writing this song nowadays. Feminists would scream bloody murder. And yet it's so frothy and fun it's hard to care.

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