Wednesday Wanderings

Alas for the internet, for it has one terrible consequence:  it is now almost impossible to go about singing ridiculously incorrect song lyrics, blissfully ignorant of the truth.  A single peek on Google resolves (almost) all questions, so we're left with the plausible misinterpretations or those so ridiculous that they can't help but stick in the brain.  (Recently, I was mildly heartbroken to learn that the line in Lady Gaga's "The Fame" is actually "Hot blondes in odd positions" - I was hearing "acquisitions," and it made enough sense I never bothered to look it up.  I was picturing cold-hearted but gorgeous executive(s) who had clawed their way to the top.  To me, a much more enjoyable take on the lyric.)

We all have our childhood favorites, the lyrics we didn't understand because the word or phrase wasn't in our vocabulary yet.  Mine was the "man of loaded grease" ("low degree") in Helen Reddy's "Delta Dawn," but also noteworthy is the fact that for literally decades, I thought the girl in The Zombies' "She's Not There" had *died*, due to mishearing a few key phrases.  "How many people cried ..." I thought of a funeral, not jilted / hurt emotions, and my interpretation spiraled from there.

Moving along to adulthood, in the category of "that almost sounds right," I came across Destiny's Child "Bug A Boo," about an obnoxious would-be lover:  "I want to put my number on the call block ... break my knees so I can't move ..."

Thought me:  well, that seems excessive, but I can see it ...

Oh.  "Break my lease so I can move."

Then there's the line you know you had to have misheard.  The Pussycat Doll's "Bite The Dust" is a possessive girlfriend talking to a would-be man-thief:  "Make a move and I'm on him like Fievel."

Wait, the mouse from American Tail?  Definitely not right.  I decided it was supposed to be "fire" and didn't think much of it for a while.  Then I finally looked it up:  "5-0."  As in the cops.  Okay, that makes sense.

And meat dress notwithstanding, I really don't think Lady Gaga's persona in "Marry The Night" wanted to "Put on some leather en croute."  ("and cruise")

Sometimes, you hear the words correctly (sort of), but it just parses oddly.  That's the only reason I can come up for this one from "I've Forgotten What It Was In You" (Maria McKee):  "Your arms were like a little pair of dice." ... paradise.  *Paradise*.

This, though, is the gold standard in absurd misheard lyrics.  If watched Dead Like Me, you're probably familiar with the haunting Metisse song, Boom Boom Ba - and if you're not, go listen to it first, because a) it's a beautiful song; and b) the misheard lyrics will forever ruin your ear.

Now, Metisse is hard to understand to start with, but many of her songs include lines or phrases in another language.  So that results in this glorious strangeness:

Boom Boom Ba - Misheard Lyrics