Friday, September 18, 2009

But what do I *DO* with it?

So for me, the creative arts have always had a practical side. I'm a professional harp performer: every piece I arrange and practice is eventually intended to be played in a background job or a stage set. I also consider myself a professional writer and with the exception of brain-stretching exercises, every story / novel I work on is intended to be sent out to publishers. I am goal-focused and product-conscious ... though I still have tremendous fun with the process. (Three words for you: Under The Sea (from The Little Mermaid). Such a blast to play. I just need to get off my duff and finish a cohesive arrangement ...)

So occasionally, when I need to downtime my brain (look, I'm verbing nouns!), I turn to the visual arts. I dabble - and it's definitely dabble - in photography, fractals, drawing and painting. To be able to do something where the result isn't expected to be up to a professional standard and I don't have to produce something for a specific goal allows me to unwind.

But then that little nagging voice creeps into my head, the one that's been trained from years of work ... what do I do with it? I feel as if there needs to be some purpose for the finished project. It's just sitting there, and it drives me batty. These files, these loose pages! They're just taking up space.

Part of it, I suppose, is that I do have a show-off streak: I want people to see what I've done and - yes, I blush - admire it. That's probably a good part of why I have a Deviantart page. For the rest of it ...

My brain churns - I can't help it - over what use my artwork might serve. One idea that amuses me is the notation of doing art-cards as stories / poems of mine are released and posting them up as little advertisements. Not sure yet.

But the point is ... I felt compelled to find something to do with my creative product, even my downtime product. I feel as if there's something vaguely diseased about this outlook of mine. I don't feel that it's ever stifled my creativity in my primary work, but I occasionally don't turn to the art because there's this tiny little voice whispering, "Okay, but what do I *do* with it?"

That said, if anyone wants my fractals or photos I'll be happy to be paid, but that's besides the point ... ahem. Running away now.

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